Day Drunk At The Gates of Hell

from by Loner Chic



His ibi tum natum Anchises unaque Sibyllam
prosequitur dictis portaque emittit eburna

In your new bedroom
You will forgive me for what I do
You’ll say it’s cyclical, like:
“I break your heart, so that you can’t break my bones”

But on the bygone Autumn nights
back when Alison used to hold me tight…
And when the ending came
I chastised myself to reorient the blame but

Would you believe that I’d never slept with anyone before?
I mean really slept— entwined, embracing
Not passed out on the floor

I didn’t realize that I had done something right
But the New York City car alarms are gonna keep her up all night

It’s a bad habit for a good girl and boy:
Don’t confront the chaos.
Maintain a passive-aggressive relationship with the void

I am borrowing my roommate’s guitar to write this one down tonight
because I broke mine two weeks ago on the Philadelphia ice
A shattered body’s not so bad— I’m gonna get it fixed in time
But I pray my heart, my blackened lungs will still fill up in spite
of what I do to them— I’m shattered again
Pretend like you really mean it
and I’ll try hard to pretend I don’t care

And when the queen is in my bed
I’ll finally be satisfied
She grabs my arm and pulls me close
as we watch Teen Suicide

Now we’re in Cameron’s house in Bloomfield
Reject the matter and keep the form
We are listening to Nothing Was The Same in my college dorm

Her lipstick’s on my neck tonight
and I’ve never felt more alive
But she says she feels nothing that her own touch can’t provide but

Would you believe that I’ve never felt so providential?
Like I’m a car you can climb into— shut your eyes and trust the world
You’ll never realize that I am on fire tonight
and I’m spinning out of control with no witnesses in sight

And it’s a bad omen for a good girl and boy:
Don’t confront the chaos.
Cut your ties and wait to slowly be destroyed.


from Year Of The Goth, released February 19, 2016



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