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House Fires Of The Modern Age (Redux)

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1.
If I had any time, do you think I'd waste it all on you? If I had any mind, I'd never leave my room. If I come back, I hope that we can go back to how we were before we let the darkness do us in. And if I come back with my whole heart still intact then you'll know it's because I left and fled when I did. I'm always leaving. Too much salt and not enough restraint, when paired together, go a long, long way, and I proved it. I've still got bruises. I'm accident prone and I make my accidents known. I make myself sick when I lose interest after our first fuck, or our first kiss. I'm embarrassing myself. Stay well, and stay the hell away from me.
2.
When I talk to you, I talk like you. Now I'm drunk, dancing, alone in my room, to the waltz you wrote, or jersey's greatest hits. Are you listening? Are you hearing this? When will I feel okay? Let's pretend that nothing bad ever happened, and second looks don't mean a goddamned thing. I know that you are tired of talking. I know that you're tired of talking to me.
3.
From small towns in Pennsylvania, straight on through into the heart of Nebraska. I think I need a new plan. You can't follow me. You wouldn't follow me, but are you following? A piece of you is buried deep inside of every place... and it's written all over my face. How does it feel to have my heart out of your hair? Does the city seem to finally cough a calmer air. At night I hope that you never dream of me. Hold tight to what you love, and never let it leave. House fires of the modern age. Don't be afraid, there are no flames, just a pulling apart and a pummeling. When I dream, you and me, we always end up drowned. We could have burned this whole town down, and maybe we did, without knowing it.
4.
Never had I wanted to impress somebody more. Clutched tight to a promise: the tri-state can burn. But what for? I used to know what I wanted for my heart, but no more. This is the last time I'll leave my house without my jacket. It's getting cold, and I cant shake it. It's not that hard to understand. I keep reminders in my pockets, down my arms, and on my chest. I'm alone, you're someone else's, just as you've always been. I fell in love, I fucked myself, and I slept soundly next to silhouettes and my personal hell. Heavy hearts dressed for the weather, linking fingers at drinks and dinner. I'm getting calls from kids you hate while we scale the cemetery gates. We made promises 'cause we liked the way the sounded. I ate my words and I choked. I passed through her like a ghost. I'm out of time. I made a b-line for the exit. Where do I even get off pretending I am strong enough to bare the weight of all these crippling fascinations and devastating realizations? Where's my head at? Where's my heart gone? It won't be long, because I don't belong. We made promises 'cause we liked the way they sounded.
5.
"Don't say anything sad. I just want to relax." If I have to think about you for the rest of my life, then I hope you've saved something truly sad to say that will make me cry. Because I can't shake you and I can't make you something I'm not allowed to touch. Close was never close enough, and still, you're the only one that I can stomach. I have hardly slept since I left the Atlantic. I know, you "told me so". My heart is the east coast. Dear New England, don't forget about me. It's not that complicated, that's just what I chose to make it, and now I can't escape it. You've said some things I can't digest, and I've said things that I regret, so true to form, I just left. All these things I thought would save me won't. Please don't play like you care about me if you don't. Just know I tried and that I hope it helped. I'll always wish you well. And I know that you're afraid, afraid of my songs, and of me, and of the company I stubbornly keep. But all of my songs are the same, vampires, ghosts and graves, my broken heart and my mistakes, and that will never change. If I move back to Massachusetts, I will stay out of your way. What do you say? Just know it helped when you defined dynamics the last time you and I sang together in my bedroom.
6.
Seventy degrees, bourbon in the backseat. Only once had I shot whiskey. Were you impressed? You were half asleep outside the party on the front steps. Champagne was on my breath. Innocents out the window, on the rooftop, on the edge... I would kill to see that bleak skyline again. Let's pretend that I've been dreaming. Lets pretend that I am dead. (I've said too much... I've said enough.) I'd kill to see that photograph again, and I'd die to get to hold onto that feeling. Let's pretend that we both never met, and then meet again. What memory of you and me should I keep? 'cause this is it.
7.
Snow drifts, six in the morning on New Years Day. Whiskey and coffee, movies and magazines. Wet hair, hot autumn air, and the stars above the lake. Soft ground, cool grass, rest stops and my new dress... I want my heart back. (I don't want my heart back.) You asleep in the passenger seat under the biggest moon that I'd ever seen. You trust me to drive your car. We're still far away, but I'll make sure we both get home safe. You asleep on the floor across from me. I smile shy, and you speak when you dream. Did you think I would take these things lightly? That's not like me at all. Did you think I could take these things lightly? That's not like me at all. Don't dare question how much I cared about you again. Don't dare question how much I care about you again.

about

This album was originally written and recorded in 2012. In 2015, jess, mike and ryan decided to try and take a stab at making a full band version. By 2016 jess got frustrated, per usual, and gave up trying to perfect it. This is the end result. Thank you immensely to everyone involved.

Any questions, please contact tnvw@hotmail.com
credits

credits

released December 27, 2016

jess mcdermott: vox, guitars, lyrics, mixing
michael buckland: bass, engineering
ryan morton: percussion

joseph hennessy: photography
model: jourdan white

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Broken World Media Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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