Everything I Let Go & The Things I Refuse To

by Old Gray

supported by


released November 11, 2012



all rights reserved


Broken World Media Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Independent record label releasing and distributing music, visual art, and literature

contact / help

Contact Broken World Media

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: 359 Pine
Charlie: Ailments become fragments of my imagination; I am encumbered by nothing. Hands in hand with a ghost of your former self, someone I once held away from the torments of situation; no longer am I strong enough- another voice has taken over, controlling, binding, leaving the person I am- fucking helpless, awaiting its next consensus. A face that is not there taunts me, breathing the same air that she held in her lungs, breaking, for it all seems so familiar. I have been lost and faded into this place, waking only to find it still surrounds me, blotting out the pain but with it, the comfort. For I was a being existing but absent of life, selective thoughts showing only bliss. Sifting through tarnished images of a past you were a part of, mind blanketed by memories- the ghost of your former self, someone I once held and time stood still. Time stood still, at least to us. At least to us.
Track Name: Resonance
Cameron: How I wish i could go back to the day where my heart was still working and I still had a brain, where I felt no pain. But that ship has sailed, it's been lost out at sea for too long- it has been just you and me for too long. How I wish you could see how much you mean to me; how I long for your smile, how I long for our home. Most nights I can't sleep; I lie in my bed thinking, "What is left of me?" I lie in my bed reminiscing on past dreams. I'm tired of living while drowning inside. I'm so tired of dying each night.
Track Name: Winter '11
Raphael: Every day is the same charade: weary ghosts frequenting their favorite haunts. We're all tired but no one ever moves.

Cameron: No effort is made until we forget and fade away.

Raphael: I always found it strange how you found comfort when I spoke in foreign tongue. (In Polish) What do you want from me that you cannot say? What do you want from me that I cannot do?

Charlie: And my words collapsed like the lungs you've overused, for I've wasted my best fleeting hopes, but they weren't you. I keep my eyes firmly closed, hoping I won't see your face. But you are everywhere a shadow, and I am so alone. I am so alone.

Raphael: But what are ghosts except memories we can't let go?

Cameron and Raphael: Today I am what I never was: I am truly alone. Tomorrow I'll be what I wish I were today: I won't be afraid anymore.
Track Name: Six Years
[Sound clip from the pilot episode of Freaks & Geeks]

Lindsay: Sam. Did Mom and Dad tell you I was the only one with Grandma when she died?
Sam: No.
Lindsay: Yeah. They went down to the cafeteria to get some coffee. And all the sudden Grandma looked so terrified. I didn't know what to do. She grabbed my hand, told me she didn't want to go. She looked so scared, Sam. I said, Well, you know, can you see God or Heaven or a light or anything?
Sam: What did she say?
Lindsay: No. There's nothing.

[End of sound clip]

Raphael: If I close my eyes for a breath too long, can I ever wake up again, or will i sleep for good? Can you see me in your dreams? Can you see me in your sleep? At times I get so lonely, but I guess you wouldn't know- the person I miss most is you six years ago. And at times I hear you're smiling and I think I understand why I thought you threw away everything you had.

Raphael and Casey: This time next year, will I have the courage to say, "I'm sorry- are you still proud of me?"
Track Name: "I Think I Might Love You" is an Awfully Long Sentence
My lungs are empty and cracking and broken. I'm drowning in sorrow and coughing up dreams. And I can't make it on my own. I'll try to hold my head up high until I finally die. And I faded away.