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Something So Personal

by Makeshift Shelters

/
1.
slow it down, i’ve had enough i’m running out of ways to rationalize the number of days you take in the dark i’m running out of ways to say goodbye what do we have now? we’re nothing but the ghost of potential when you don’t take the time to define things you find the time to run away, run away (you got lost) as fast as you can (but I stayed here) the opposite direction (you got lost) as fast as you can (but i stayed here) fuck expectations my thoughts move me to places i don’t want to be, you don’t want to be i can forget the promises but not the feelings of your hands on me when i was trying to end my tomorrow you were aching for that taste of escape (you got lost) as fast as you can (but I stayed here) the opposite direction (you got lost) as fast as you can (but i stayed here) fuck expectations
2.
i was 16 when you first told me not to hold your hand in front of your friends you were always too you were always too punk you were always listening to better bands but i was pretty dumb and i was pretty young because somehow you convinced me you were great but you’ll never get that ugly sweater back and btw that was a really shitty mixtape i hope i never see you like that again in the front of my car in the passenger’s seat oh you look so ugly when you cry learn to use your left hand in the middle of the night so you can get to work on time, no more early morning mess you say that you’re an anarchist but you’ll never quit your day job well i guess i gotta say i’m glad you moved on because those drunk texts were getting really lame and yeah she’s really pretty and yeah she’s really funny but she’s just a less curvy version of me myself and i, we’re so over it me myself and i, we’re so done me myself and i, we’re so over it so done, so over it, so done, STOP CALLING ME whoa whoa whoaaaa i hope i never see you like that again in the front of my car in the passenger’s seat oh you look so ugly when you cry learn to use your left hand in the middle of the night so you can get to work on time, no more early morning mess i hope i never see you like that again in the front of my car in the passenger’s seat oh you are so ugly inside (womp womp) learn to use your left hand in the middle of the night so you can get to work on time, no more early morning mess oh oh oh oh
3.
there’s nothing to stop me tonight from kissing every boy who looks my way and i wonder if i could fall in love with every person here because we’re all the same and we’re all looking for somebody else someone to take away the dark things that threaten to never leave but i pity the fools who fall in love nothing that makes you feel good can last cuz if things were in terms of forever they all lose their shine too fast ironically the only things that go away are the ones that were supposed to stay but he only wants me in the night or in the day when no one’s around and i swear i could leave tonight and leave everything behind for this godforsaken town to sustain itself off of to make something out of i pity the fools who fall in love nothing that makes you feel good can last cuz if things were in terms of forever they’d all lose their shine too fast
4.
Hips 02:31
please take care of me you said and spent the night scars disappeared as you left bruises on my thighs you asked if you could touch my hips because you like the way they feel i like the way they fit with yours hold me through the figuring out of what we don’t understand floating in and out things never happen the way we plan them you asked if you could touch my hips because you like the way the way they feel i like the way they fit with yours you asked if you could touch my hips but you touched much more don’t leave me like this
5.
these rooms are so suffocating the bricks that hold me up are the bricks that cave me in ghost and fingers, memories linger somebody please make them go away honestly i’ve been picking apart the reasons to not be on a string anymore honestly i’ve been moving towards the cautious end of things why hold on anymore your palpitations mirror mine the bricks that you have molded crumble around your mind you didn’t mean it, you only said it you didn’t mean it please be careful with the things that you don’t understand please be honestly i’ve been picking apart the reasons to not be on a string anymore honestly i’ve been moving towards the cautious end of things why hold on anymore honesty is sickening when you let yourself believe
6.
New Coast 04:03
i don’t really know anymore what keeps me here and trying cuz everyone’s been lying when they said they cared i need a sunrise on a new coast to take all this ash and turn it into something beautiful i need a new feeling in my bones i need a sunrise on a new coast to take all this ash and turn it into something beautiful i need anything that’s new at all everyone around me is full of fire they have reasons and sparks they fit in with the beautiful ones but i’ll wave goodbye soon because i know what it’s like in the night when the things you’ve tried to forget they sit at the foot of your bed because i know what it’s like in the night when the things you’ve tried to forget they pierce and they ramble they won’t let me go i need something to keep me alive
7.
i’ve been driving to your house underneath the inky skyline the water froze to the glass so i waited for you outside stop this deprecation of the corners where i should be safe from the grayest places that suspend these teenagers and selfish perfect families stop this deprecation of the corners where i should be safe from the grayest places that suspend me in the spaces in between will you hold on til the new moon i am letting go of you are you drifting through shades of blue i am letting go of you
8.
Overflowing 03:09
something so personal you keep it quiet in your hometown this room is overflowing so we keep our eyes cast down the only promise i will keep involves some form of haunting break me i’m building walls around my mind so keep your distance if you keep from doing what you’re thinking i will keep you in my plans the only promise you have kept was never meaning what you said i’d rather be in my head than in your bed if i carve deep enough i can fade away entirely i’ll never get what gets you off, i’ll never get what gets you all i wanted was to feel complete
9.
back on the road again, counting down to the city lights remembering the ways we wasted those city nights with cold hands and close faces and mirrored eyes we left the world behind so when the winter sets in i’ll be wrapped up in your sheets knowing the new year’s coming with new people to meet but for tonight you’re mine the best one i will find so the next time you’re in town i’ll be the one who comes around i heard you got a job in fairfax and you fall asleep on the train commuting from day to do day and you find a new girl every night to fill the space that we created so when the summer stars to end i’ll be headed for the coastline knowing there’s potential to mend and make up for lost time but that night you were mine still the best one i will find so the next time you’re in town i’ll be the one who comes around
10.
the last time i saw you was in the morning blurry vision heals most everything you taught me self medication through the darkest nights but i still want to wake up by your side but i don’t change with the seasons i’m stuck in the past you spend your nights in the graveyards but the sun always comes too fast you’ve got a universe inside your head and you locked me out twisting insides, anxiety spills out of my core and the indents of my appearance that show my emotion, you know i don’t show that very often to anyone but you but i still want to wake up by your side

credits

released February 24, 2015

Ella Boissonault - vocals, synthesizer, guitar
Andrew Clark - guitar
Phil Edfors - bass, guitar
Chris Teti - guitar, trumpet
Paul Karcic - drums

additional vocals on "Darkest Nights" by David F. Bello

Cover photo by: Noorann Matties
Art/illustration by Lewes Herriot

Recorded and Engineered by Chris Teti at Silver Bullet Studios
Mastered by Bill Henderson at Azimuth Mastering

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